Sunday, February 10, 2008

Roommates Suck....

I'm so tired of living with people. Especially people who have children and expect me to play with them or take care of them when the parents are home. Don't get me wrong I LOVE kids but its not my responsibility when the parents are there.

So I forgot to put a plate in the dishwasher this afternoon. My roommate put the dirty plate in the fridge with a bitchy note about how everyone works their ass off to keep the house clean and they don't want to look at my dirty plate. I forgot to put the plate away and I get that....but I also don't have kids who are messing up the house, so why is she trying to make me feel guilty because they are trying to keep the house clean. Its not my kids making the mess and I don't have to clean up after the kids.

I can't even have my own space anymore unless I'm in my room. It sucks so very bad. I sleep in my room and my room is so small that if I'm in there I have to be on my bed. I can barely move in my room because its so small. I have cable in there so thats good, but thats all.

Man I hate my life!!!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Over A Year...

Hey Everyone,
So it has been over a year since I have even come here. I've been so busy. I have moved 3 times. Switched counselors, Been hospitalized, flew to Wisconsin, got a boyfriend and broke up with him already, oh and started college. I could probably write a book on just my last year...LOL.

So I am now living in a 5 bedroom house with two lesbians (I am bi), and two children, a dog, cat, and rat. Another lady is moving in within the next couple of days who is straight and also has a child. Its a crazy house thats for sure. It is nice though to live with people who understand me.

I have a counselor who is awesome. She decided though in October that I was WAY too depressed and took me to the ER. She drove me there and sat with me for 3 hours before I was transfered to the mental hospital. She then checked up on me, on a daily basis.I actually spent my 24th birthday there. My friend Janis brought me chocolate cake with chocolate frosting though, so that was cool! My last counselor who I "thought" was good, dropped me because of the gay thing. She said she couldn't justify that. She didn't even give me any referrells, just kind of left me out to dry.

May of '07 I flew to WI, to my 19 year old brother's high school graduation. It was my first time flying alone. It was cool to see (some of my) family, though I don't want to ever go back to WI again until something big happens. I flew there Friday and back Sunday, very quick trip. My mom threw one of her tantrums again. Nothing ever changes with her. I guess I need to stop wishing it would.

So I came out about August of '06 as being lesbian. Then this last summer I met this guy Aaron and felt attracted to him right away. We started dating and slept together. Once we started dating I decided I needed to get back with a counselor so I found my counselor now, Tracie. I started seeing her. Right before Aaron and my birthdays I broke it off with him. I was having very conflicting thoughts about the fact that I came out and am attracted to women, and yet I'm attracted to this guy. I want to work on things and get them figured out before settling down or being in a serious relationship.

March of last year, I started college for Criminal Justice. I went part time until October when I was hospitalized. I am now on a break from college but want to go back starting March of this year. We'll see what happens. One day I think I could do it again and then a couple days later I'm doubting myself. I wish I didn't have all this emotional crap I'm working on, so I could focus on work and school without all these problems.

WEll that is about all for now....

I'll try to keep you all up to date more from now on....